


I Am Not A Robot

by xXHumptyDumptyXx



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Hank Anderson Swears, Hank Anderson is So Done, Post-Canon, and, can't get past a captcha, existential crisis over a captcha, hopefully someone gets a kick outta this, idek this idea just wouldn't go away, like connor some super-android, turned oddly serious towards the end, who knew life as a deviant could be so difficult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXHumptyDumptyXx/pseuds/xXHumptyDumptyXx
Summary: “Dammit. You're telling me, you, the most advanced android on this godforsaken planet, has never once seen a- a CAPTCHA? Your mind is basically hooked up to the internet but you’re stuck the minute you get hit with an ‘I Am Not A Robot’?”





	I Am Not A Robot

I AM NOT A ROBOT.

...

Connor experiences probably for the first time in his life what it feels like to be dumbfounded. He's staring at a checkbox. It's currently 7:38 PM. Location: Hank's house - sitting on the old couch in the living room, to be exact.

SCANNING INFORMATION DATABASE: DEFINE ANDROID

… 

RESULTS FOUND:

A ROBOT WITH A HUMAN APPEARANCE

...

RELEVANT

“Hank?”

Hank up until now has been absorbed in the football game, but he takes the remote and turns the TV down as a sign that he's listening. “Am I a robot?” Hank turns his attention to Connor and flashes him a confused look.

“Where'd that come from?”

“Well, it's just I can't seem to access this website until I confirm that I ‘am not a robot,’ and there doesn't appear to be an ‘I am’ option. A robot is an android, and I'm an android.”

Hank mutes the television and runs his hand over his face in annoyance. “What exactly are you tryin’ to access?”

“A video-sharing website. I want to look at dogs.”

At this response, Hank's face softens just a smidge, but he still lets out a sigh. “Dammit. You're telling me, you, the most advanced android on this godforsaken planet, has never once seen a- a CAPTCHA? Your mind is basically hooked up to the internet but you’re stuck the minute you get hit with an ‘I Am Not A Robot’?”

Connor is just more confused by Hank's response. “I don't recall ever seeing this before? Cyberlife never needed me to go to a video-sharing website.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's a- it's just this thing you get when you, uh, try to go on a website that wants to keep… oh for God's sake, just click the box.”

“But clicking it would be incorrect, wouldn't it?”

“I'm not sayin’ you aren't an android, but the statement is for internet bots created to scam people.”

SCANNING INFORMATION DATABASE: CAPTCHA

SEARCHING

…

Connor's processor helpfully supply:

A PROGRAM OR SYSTEM INTENDED TO DISTINGUISH HUMAN FROM MACHINE INPUT, TYPICALLY AS A WAY OF THWARTING SPAM AND AUTOMATED EXTRACTION OF DATA FROM WEBSITES.

Connor takes a couple of seconds to process Hank's explanation. “So I'm not the same as the robots on the computer, although we are both machines made by humans?”

“Yeah. You're able to walk and talk and think for yourself. Androids aren't just machines that run off mindless instructions. You know this Connor.” He nods. His mind runs this information through an algorithm, but it's the part of him that can even ask whether ‘I Am A Robot’ that stands to be recognized - the emotional part of him that broke free from his reason for existing.

“It's still sometimes... difficult… for me to see myself as a deviant. A living being, capable of thought and reason outside of Cyberlife.”

“I bet those ass-wipes keep these everywhere just to prevent androids from accessing stuff. Just click it and forget about all the existential shit.” Hank waves his hand as if batting the subject away and smiles.

Connor finds the corners of his mouth raising too. “I think I understand.”

“Thank Jesus. Now I can finally get back to the game. And Connor, show me some of the dog videos you find, okay?”

“And cats too?”

“And cats too.”

I AM NOT A ROBOT.

...

CONFIRM

ERROR: FOLLOW PROGRAM DESIGNATION

ERROR: FOLLOW PROGRAM DESIGNATION

ERROR

…

ERROR OVERWRITTEN

...

I AM A DEVIANT

...

SEARCH: DOG VIDEOS

CONFIRM


End file.
